1. If you can’t find a screwdriver, use a knife. If you break off the tip, it’s an improved screwdriver.
2. Try to work alone. An audience is rarely any help.
3. Despite what you may have been told by your mother, praying and cursing are both helpful in home repair … but only if you are working alone.
4. Work in the kitchen whenever you can … many fine tools are there, its warm and dry, and you are close to the refrigerator.
5. If it’s electronic, get a new one … or consult a twelve-year-old.
6. Stay simple minded: Get a new battery; replace the bulb or fuse; see if the tank is empty; try turning it to the “on” position; or just paint over it.
7. Always take credit for miracles. If you dropped the alarm clock while taking it apart and it suddenly starts working, you have healed it.
8. Regardless of what people say, kicking, pounding, throwing, and swearing sometimes DOES help.
9. If something look level, it is level.
10. If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.
11. Above all, if what you’ve done is stupid, but it works, then it isn’t stupid.
[author unknown]
This is GREAT! And I agree – sometimes screaming, pouting and even swearing (did I really write that?) actually DOES help. I mean – sometimes no other word really helps or expresses – and “Oh Crap” is about as far as I can go – but this was still considered a ‘swear word’ when I was growing up and my mother would be shocked if she heard me say that – so I don’t say it around her. ☺ She doesn’t even like me saying, “Darn” so there you have it. She would be terrible shocked to know that sometimes I even say “Freaking” – Wow. I led a very sheltered life – this explains much about me, doesn’t it?
My parents are filling in at the Skokomish A/G church and my mother was horrified that my dad used the word “crap” and another word I can’t remember in the pulpit. Dang, you would have thought my mom thought my dad lost his salvation! LOL…