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Posts Tagged ‘Life Goals’

So, I have another birthday coming up. This yearly event stopped meaning anything special to me years ago – somewhere after 40.  This birthday will mark my last year in the decade of the 40’s.  Next year I hit the big 5-0; that will be a much bigger deal to me.  There’s just something inauspicious about hitting and moving beyond 50.  Of course, those who have moved way beyond that mile-marker will tell me otherwise.

Believe it or not, the biggest decade markers that were downers for me were the younger ones. Turning twenty was traumatic.  Somehow, in my mind, it meant leaving “youth” and entering into “age.”  Not old-age per se, just an age where the responsibility stakes went up ten-fold in my mind.  It was, in my thinking, leaving the care-free stage of life and entering the care-burdened age.

This is one reason why I always warn my children not to worry about growing up so fast and “getting out on their own.” So far, none of them have listened to me.  I suppose it is the optimism of youth that helps us to launch into our independence.  Of course, complete and total ignorance of what really lays ahead helps too.

The other decade marker that was a downer was thirty. I was depressed for a week.  This seemed to mark me as the entrance into “old.”  All youth is gone and spent, now all that was left was aging and more burdened responsibilities.  In retrospect, however, I do have to say that my thirties were quite fun and fulfilling.  I had some real rough years closing out the decade, but for the most part they were enjoyable times.

Turning forty did not faze me all that much, for some odd-ball reason. I had some friends who made the event a lot of fun (at my expense, of course).  At the same time, there was a positive stride into the decade of the 40’s with a certain sense of maturity, wisdom and life-experience.  These have been good years with lots of good experiences.  It has held enough life adventures to keep it interesting.  So far, I think I am well on my way to fulfilling my life’s mission of “finishing strong and finishing laughing.”

This life goal or mission helps me to focus on what is important: finishing strong in my relationships with God and my family and friends and to do it all with great joy and no regrets. It is that last point that is the sticky one.  It is truly hard to finish life without any regrets so that one can end life with great joy – laughing.  Perhaps approaching the age of fifty has made me more retrospect than ever (as if I could be any more retrospect…I’m wired to be an internalizer, meditator and processor).  I had a friend tell me one time, “Boy, Ron.  The stream of thought sure runs slow through you.  But I have to say, it does run deep!”  We still laugh over that observation as there have been many funny applications to it over the years.

Tubing On Quilcene Bay, Washington, Summer 2007

Tubing On Quilcene Bay, Washington, Summer 2007

I have been witness to many people who, at the end of their life because of disease or death, spend a few moments replaying their regrets.  There seems to be a need to attempt to correct any mistakes before one leaves this life.  Sometimes, this is not always possible.  According to Bronnie Ware, an Ezinearticles.com contributor and palliative care worker, when questioned about any regrets, the dying had five common themes that surfaced again and again:

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
  2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

These all strike me as having to do with my life goal to “finish strong and finish laughing.” A life well-lived and full of joy up to the end of it strikes me as something the Creator would take great pleasure in as He witnessed our leaving this world and entering the new creation He has awaiting for us.  Each of these five things recalled by Bronnie Ware reminds me that life is full of risks that present opportunities and pitfalls.  One cannot live life sheltered in hopes of coming through with no scrapes or bruises.

A couple of weeks ago, I heard a message on risk-taking. It was inspiring as well as challenging.  What would we be doing differently right now or attempting to do if we knew that we could not fail?  There lies the stuff of dreams and visions.  In the message a quote was shared:

Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing!”

What a daring statement! Like me when I heard it, you are probably wondering what brave soul, perhaps famous, made such a declaration.  Our speaker pointed out some of the risk action ideas in this quote: danger, exposure, adventure or nothing!  The quote is from Helen Keller.  What a statement from a deaf, mute and blind hero for whom getting out of bed everyday was an adventure and a risk!  The speaker pointed out that, willing to do so, she changed her world as an author, activist and even lecturer!  Suddenly, I find myself in short comparison to someone born with so many “handicaps.”  Certainly, I in accompaniment with my full faculties have a long ways to go to catch up with her.

I suppose that there is no way to completely avoid end-of-life regrets. Clarity of vision seems to be the privilege of only those at the terminus of their life’s journey.  We could all stand to learn more from them.  The words of Jesus could also help to prod us: “Playing it safe and guarding your self will not help you in the end.  Only risk-taking and self-sacrifice will help you discover who you were made to be and the reward that will await you at life’s end” (my own paraphrase of Luke 9:14).

So, to “finish strong and finish laughing” is going to require more work on my part it seems. Every day as well as every decade will be an adventure.  It reminds me of Frodo‘s recollection to Samwise of Bilbo‘s wise words in The Lord of the Rings: “Remember what Bilbo used to say: ‘It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to‘.”  Who knows what’s around the corner of 50 – or 60 or 70 for that matter.  Might as well finish them strong and laughing with no regrets.  If anything, it will leave the devil frustrated over me and my friends wondering.

©Weatherstone/Ron Almberg, Jr. (2010)

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The first decade of the 21st century is quickly fading behind us in the rear view mirror of our lives. Isn’t it amazing how one 10-year period can bring so much change?  How quickly it can come and go?  How terribly swift its events can over take us?  International disasters from earthquakes to tsunamis.  Horror’s from 9/11 to the Swine Flu pandemic.  The list of events just from this last decade is almost endless.  On a global scale we have seen it all.  We have been amazed at the rise and fall of the world economy and the rise and fall of our cultural heroes.

It makes one wonder what the next decade will bring. What surprising discoveries await humankind?  How will world governments and rulers navigate this next decade’s international events and crises?  What tragedies and human horrors lurk in the next 10 years?  What scientific or medical breakthroughs hide from us just around the corner a few years from now?

On a more personal level, there is no doubt that our own lives will continue on and change.  We cannot avoid it anymore than we can avoid getting older.  As my grandma Stalnaker would always say, “Time and tide wait for no one.”  Some of us in this next decade will watch our children grow and graduate from High School and/or college.  Some of us will bury our parents and/or grandparents.  Some of us will marry and begin families.  Some will go through “the valley of the shadow of death” and others will enter the decade “sowing tears” but leave it “reaping a harvest of  joy”.

Who knows what the future holds for us. I believe the most important question for us is, How are we equipped to deal with the circumstances and changes we will face?  Some of us have prepared and are preparing our lives well – spiritually, financially, emotionally, relationally, etc.  Others of us, I suspect, have neglected to even think about the future; choosing, instead, to face it with a ‘que sera, sera’ attitude.  Whether you face the future with a sense of self-determination or fait accompli, you cannot avoid the on-rush of the next decade.

Sunlit Leaves BW, Howard Amon Park, Richland, Washington

Sunlit Leaves BW, Howard Amon Park, Richland, Washington ©Weatherstone/Ron Almberg, Jr. (2010)

Looking back over the past decades of my life, I have come to appreciate just how small a decade really is in the scheme of life and especially eternity.  My grandparents lived 7, 8, or 9 decades.  My parents just entered their 7th decade of living.  Put in those terms, that doesn’t sound very old does it?  In Methuselahn terms, they are just children.  I am only 4, getting ready to turn 5.

Just this past decade, my family and I have moved from Washington State to North Dakota and back again.  Two of our children have graduated High School and left home.  My wife, Kelly, earned a Master’s Degree in Education.  The last of my and my wife’s grandparents have gone on to their eternal reward.  Now, our parents are the remaining grandparents to our children.  I have had the joy of pastoring and leading two great congregations.  I also had the privilege of traveling to Albania and India.

The decade before this last one, the 1990’s, my family and I moved from Washington State to Springfielf, Missouri, and back again.  I earned a Master’s of Divinity degree in Springfield, Missouri.  Our two youngest children were born.  I pastored and led two great congregations (the last one from the 90’s into the beginning of this last decade).  We owned six different vehicles.  Our two oldest children began their school years.

And these are just the highlights from only the last two decades!  Looking at all that has happened, it is no wonder that I am exhausted.  The decades before those were even busier.  It is amazing how much can be packed into 10 years.  One has to wonder about all that will happen in the next 10 years.  As I stand on the edge of beginning my 5th decade of earthly existence (I’ll be 49 this Spring), I am more cognizant than ever of the fact that I do not and cannot control the  future.  After all, many of things I have experienced over this past 10 years was not on my “To Do List”.  They were not even on the radar screen of my forecasting abilities!  Some of the biggest events were complete surprises to me.

Perhaps each decade should come with a life journey sign that says, “Caution:  Sudden Changes Ahead!”  One thing is for certain, how we face this next decade and the personal “tools” and preparation we go into it is very important.  No wonder the wisdom of King David is still so appropriate.  It must have been in his old age when he sang the prayer, “Lord, teach us to number our days.”  He knew, as we are all discovering, that they pass too quickly.

©Weatherstone/Ron Almberg, Jr. (2010)

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Fall Leaf in Howard Amon Park, Fall 2009

Fall Leaf in Howard Amon Park, Fall 2009 ©Weatherstone/Ron Almberg, Jr. (2009)

Every once in a while
someone needs to help me
define reality.

Blinded by urgency
I cannot see outside
my space time.

Figures move too quickly
events come and go swiftly
right by me.

Someone who’s been here
sees from another perspective
my experience.

A view from where they stand
clearly enables me to better
define reality.

©Weatherstone/Ron Almberg, Jr. (2009)

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